Dennis Hastert is your classic Illinois politician: pure hypocrite, pure liar, pure scumbag, okay? Not only is he a classic Illinois politician, he is a classic American politician. He is a man with a sex scandal replacing another man with a sex scandal, whose prosecuting a man who had a sex scandal. And all these men with sex scandals are walking around beating their chests talking about how immoral Bill Clinton is with his sex scandal while they’re busy keeping their own sex scandal in the closet. This is why Americans do not participate in the American political system at the rate that they do not, because they validly are of the belief that men like Dennis Hastert are in charge and they are the most weasel-y, underhanded, underlying, unreliable, lying individuals that this country has ever seen.

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